Early Menopause · Infertility · Selfcare · Solo mum



So January is over and you may or may not of added self care to your new year resolutions or goals for 2019. Last year I set 18 in 18 (goals) inspired by the athletic apparel company Lululemon which I successfully completed the majority on my list. This year is going to potentially be a big one for me, You know motherhood and that! (Cross everything please!) So I’ve put a lot of thought into my 19 in 19 goals. At the forefront of each of my goals is self care. Obviously the hashtag self care is thrown about all year round and I often think oh bore off but I now realise how important it is at this crucial time and all the time for that matter.

During any fertilty treatment, anxiety is at an all time high and stressful situations can be heightened with all the hormones flying about. So looking after your state of mind should be up there as a priority.

I’m a firm believer in positive thinking and feel you receive what you put out into the universe. Now maybe I’m naive as this is my first attempt at fertility treatment but a little positivity can’t hurt right? It just makes me feel better and makes me feel like I’d be more able to cope with negative situations. I also know that me believing I’m pregnant and buying a ton of baby paraphernalia is not going to give me a small human however I can use positive affirmations such as “When I am a mother” and preparing myself for solo motherhood so I can welcome it with open arms rather than constantly thinking it won’t happen so as not to be disappointed.

Perfect example, at the beginning of the year I was wobbling and having a shitty day. I was stuck indoors, not wanting to leave the sofa and just generally feeling a bit angry with my situation. Now I didn’t want to get my hopes up too much so as not to jinx it but I began reading a book I got for my birthday called Three Makes Baby by Jana M. Rupnow. The book is about how to parent a donor conceived child and the obstacles n society you could face and although I’m not there yet it felt good to be looking ahead rather than dwelling on what’s already in the past. After a few pages I felt good and ready again.

So on my 19 in 19 I have promised myself to continue reading that book and also purchase some more soon. The Donor Conception Network have some great children’s books for donor concieved children called Our Story which are tailored to your situation ie solo mum and sperm donor or Mum and Dad with egg donor child, you get the idea.

Not everything needs to cost money, cause believe me this is all cost enough already! Music and dancing makes me so happy. I used to sing and dance when I was younger so I’ve always loved it, I can literally put a certain song on and be instantally up dancing and smiling to myself in my own little world. I decided to start the ULTIMATE playlist on my Apple Music. You could do the same on Spotify. It’s full of songs from all genres, old and new and I love it! I’m still adding to it now as I remember songs I’d forgotten even existed, think I’m up to 31 songs so 1 hour 56 minutes of pure joy! 127F1622-18AC-42A8-9517-DC4D7ED38DEB

Other things I have been investing is acupuncture. Its pricey but worth trying. I had a half price deal which was £30 to see if I responded well to it before committing to regular appointments with an acupuncturist who speciallises in fertility. Yes it is an added expense to the already 1000’s you’ve parted with but I have been putting some money aside each month to pay for things like this and for travel to my clinic so I see it as an investment in myself and part of the process. I’ve been feeling a lot calmer and relaxed around my transfer date and of course the dreaded 2 week wait!

Another one for the list was on last years list too so I have continued this into 2019. Each time I go to the supermarket on my way to work I pick up something for the food bank to donate. An extra 80p on a bag of pasta is really nothing. This really puts things into perspective again when I’m feeling down and I like to give something back to those that have to use these food banks to feed their families.

Another free tip for self care is to get out in nature, go for a walk with a friend or family or even out on your own. Every time I visit home I book in a walk with the family and even better when my little nephew comes too!

Since being diagnosed with POF almost 2 years ago Ive barely exercised like a used to so walking is my thing now

I’m currently sat in my favourite little cafe (where most of these posts are written?) and I’ve promised myself I will take a walk through the park before heading home just to clear my head, I’ll listen to a podcast or of course the ULTIMATE playlist! Must try not to burst into song though or pretend I’m in a music video 😀

What are your self care tips? Let me know either here or over on my instagram @earlymenopauseandme

Lots of love and positive energy to you all,

CC x