So we are 2 weeks into the HRT, I am still experiencing the same symptoms but I can cope with that for now (it’s early days yet) I am feeling a lot more normal though, far less emotional and able to deal with stressful situations, and of course feeling safe in the knowledge I am preventing the risks associated with menopause without treatment. (If you follow me on Instagram check out my repost by menopause doctor)
This was put to the ultimate test just one week into medication when my 94 year old Grandad passed away. He had been in hospital prior to me beginning HRT and I really struggled to leave my mum and family to return to work (Mum and my youngest brother were Grandad’s primary carers as he lived with them) We managed to get him well enough to return home but he was never really the same again. This took its toll on Mum and my brother which was hard to see and a constant worry as I live in London, an hour and a half from them.
He deteriorated quite quickly but passed away peacefully in his sleep. Of course the whole family are distraught but Mum and bro especially as they had now been made redundant. We are a very close family so we would check in daily to see how we were all doing and I felt strong enough to keep a level head and continue working the last couple of days I had before a weeks holiday. I feel before the HRT I would of been all over the place but I managed to keep it together. Obviously having a little cry for Grandad now and again but that’s only natural and quite often were happy tears for all the great memories we have of him.
I was writing this on my flight back from Ibiza where I have been for the last week. No partying in Cream or Amnesia, lol just a week spent with one of my best friends. We booked it back in January and we planned to just relax and literally do nothing. Reminds me of that Micky Flanagan joke he did about laying and doing “fuck all” literally nothing, just laying horizontal for as long as physically possible (except to move our sun beds when the sun said so and of course the short walk to the bar for our midday sangria!)
On the subject of alcohol, I’ve really felt my hot flushes increase the last couple days. Alcohol does effect menopausal symptoms and while I’m not about to go T total I will be avoiding it for the foreseeable future although I have a hen do Saturday but I’ll not drink in excess.
It dawned on me I have 4 weddings and a funeral between now and august!! FFS
These occasions will be happy ones though and reason to celebrate love and life. I am trying to focus on the positive things in my life right now.
Before my holiday I was keen to find out my options before my holiday so I went private to a fertility clinic in London. My NHS appointment isn’t until the 7th June which I will still attend. The lovely lady I saw was very matter of fact and down to earth which I liked.
She agreed while 99% of my situation is shit, I should try focus on the 1% positive. That being I can still physically carry a child, I won’t have to worry about the higher risk of Downs and other complications that can occur in geriatric pregnancies. My clock isn’t ticking, it’s bloody stopped so now I don’t need to worry about when I decide to look into IVF with donor eggs as I’ll be using young fresh eggs!
Right now I have a lot to focus on in my everyday life and although I have some low moments when I am panicking about the future I just have to count my blessings. I have good people around me which has been highlighted even more during this time. I am working on not overthinking and learning to love myself again, it’s not going to happen overnight but I am going to work on myself and get there eventually. I’m thinking I may take up meditation?! Any tips?
in the meantime if you need a laugh and a pick me up check out my lil bros Facebook page, he’s used to post lots of videos with Grandad and they literally make me beam! Oh yes, The G.Dizzle was an internet sensation! Lol
Sam Will Joke- https://en-gb.facebook.com/SammyWillett12/
Lots of Love,
In loving memory of Grandad the legend x