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The Beginning of the end (That’s what It felt like anyway!)

So after about 3 weeks I finally managed to complete the About Me page of this blog!

Now my first real blog post is here! Hurrah!

As I mentioned, I began writing my thoughts and feelings down in a little notebook after my diagnosis mainly when I was on my own (a place at the time I did not want to be) These often one line scribbles mainly consisted of Why me? What now? What do I say when I’m asked if I have kids? Who’s going to visit me in my shitty nursing home? (Obviously it would be a shitty nursing home as I would have no children to make sure I ended up in a good one) As you can probably imagine by that trail of thought I am an overthinker who likes to be in control of her own destiny!

Im a positive Pollyanna, always seeing the glass as half full and although single I knew I would meet someone one day and have a family, yes I was aware time was getting on but I believe if you picture what you want it will happen, law of attraction and all that.

So after my diagnosis I was floored. I felt alone and like the life had been sucked out of me. Writing things down definitely helped me as I can see in a short time (just over 3 weeks) how far I’ve come in this grieving process. It can also help to make a note of any questions you may have for your next gynocology or infertility appointment.

As I am single (ish, save that for another post ey) and always wanted children I was keen to be referred straight away to an infertility specialist to look into my options. I am an emotional person but I am very strong and independent so after a lot of tears I came to realise I want to be a mother not just have a partner and kids which I’ve come to terms with, may not happen as the clock really is ticking (as we are all so often reminded of as single women in our 30’s, yeh thanks for that!)

My advise to anyone at this point are as follows:

Keep busy, I went back to work after a few days off. I deal with the public so was dreading pretending to be happy but after a while it really did help take my mind of it. I have no control of what is happening to me but work I can control and thankfully that was going really well and I have a great team so it helped to focus on the positives.

Talk about it, Tell your close friends and family how you are feeling so they understand what you are going through and of course it’s ok to cry. One of the side effects is low mood or mood swings so some days I feel like myself then others I just feel so sad. It helps that loved ones know so they can be there for you but on the flip side know when to leave you be.

Keep healthy and active, Thankfully I enjoy exercise and cooking healthy meals.  A healthy and nutritious diet plays a big part and it’s important you are getting the vitamins and nutrients you need that can help your body adapt to the changes it is going though. You should ensure that you are getting enough of the right foods to provide specific nutrients to keep you healthy during this time. I can go into more detail on this in another post as I could go on forever. I am however taking  Vitabiotics Menopace plus Botanicals that I got from Holland and Barrett. It is a combination of the regular Menopace tablet which acts as a multi-vitamin and the active botanical tablet that contains green tea and sage extract along with soya which help to regulate some of the symptoms. Once I begin HRT I may stop these but will see what my G.P advises. I am also taking cod liver oil which I’ll probably continue with once on medication. As with any supplements these must not replace a varied, balanced diet and healthy lifestyle.

Exercise is important too, I tend to do about 3-4 different classes a week which admittedly I fell off the last couple weeks due to feeling so low but instead I went on long walks ( I walked 7 miles  with one of my best friends the weekend after my diagnosis) it’s great therapy, grab a mate and just walk and talk or try a yoga or Pilates class which are both low impact and relaxing.

I don’t know if since being diagnosed I was more aware of my symptoms. I have been suffering with aching joints particularly in my knees and hips, something I hadn’t noticed too much before as I would put it down to just aching from exercise. I’m also tired a lot of the time, even after 7-8 hours sleep a night. If I’m not at work and sat at home doing nothing I will definitely nap! The hot flashes are a given, I think I’m quite lucky there, I read online of one lady sleeping outside on a sun lounger! I suggest wearing light layers that you can remove if needed and have a bottle of water handy always. I get the old S.T.L (sweaty top lip) so I carry a translucent powder in my bag to get rid of any shininess on my face without having to plaster on more make up.

Treat yourself, I really noticed my skin and hair looking dull, again maybe something I noticed more once diagnosed but I got myself a hair conditioning treatment from boots that I do once a week and also had a couple of facials. These don’t need to be expensive. I got a good discount through work on a Dermologica facial and a free one from a salon I often use. You could always look at local colleges near to you that need models for training or buy a face mask from a shop, anything to make you feel better.

Pester your G.P! This is so important. Since beginning this post I’ve had my second appointment with the gynaecologist who had previously written to my G.P asking them to refer me to her colleagues at the Infertility clinic. I went to my G.P to ensure they had received the letter and fulfilled the request, I also asked for some counselling but I can fill you in on that next time as I’m having a telephone assessment next week. Anyway I called the hospital after my last gyno appointment and they did not have the referral for infertility clinic so I called the surgery who said they had definitely sent it so are looking into it. I will be calling them first thing Monday for sure to find out what’s going on. I don’t care if I’m that annoying patient, I need that appointment to help me move on and look to the future. Already I’ve moved to Bali for a year, got a dog and moved home with my mum to bring up a baby on my own! (The latter actually being a strong possibility)

I hope this post of my ramblings has helped someone some what. For now I am taking each day as it comes. I’ll let you know how the counselling goes.

Goodnight , god bless,

CC aka Young “Hot” Single

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