I’m a young woman, 33 and recently found out I’m going through early menopause or Premature ovarian failure. Both phrases I detest. Menopause you associate with 50+ women, premature ovarian failure, exactly what I felt like when the gynaecologist gave me her diagnosis, a failure.
I hadn’t googled my symptoms prior, I’m not silly! But once I was sent away with a few leaflets on early menopause I began seeking support from other women going through it. I found some forums online but I still felt so alone and quite often still do.
Much of what I had found was from women who already had children or were diagnosed at an even younger age so had come to terms with it sooner.
Now I’m not saying my circumstances are any worse than any of those women but I was struggling to understand what the hell I was going to do now? Why me? Will I ever feel myself again?
What I did see was that everything I was feeling was pretty standard. Complete devastation, sadness, anger any other horrible, gut wrenching feeling you can possibly experience. The 2 days after my diagnosis I only stopped crying when I was asleep!
Now I don’t have children, but I was always going to have a family, it was in my life plan. Yes I’m a planner and also since my news back on 20th March 2017 I’ve come to realise I like to be in control! Now what I am going through I have no control over and initially I was freaking out about my future, I just couldn’t picture it without children.
Since my diagnosis I have been scribbling in a notebook thoughts and feelings as I knew at some point I wanted to start a blog to help other young women going through the same as me. I also knew I couldn’t cry forever so writing became my therapy and almost a log of my emotional state. I knew I could look back at it and see how strong I am!
I don’t claim to be the best writer so please forgive me, I definitely write how I speak! (I get that from my Nan, who also went through early menopause at 38) and I’m not here to try and inspire an army of menopausal females (that would be scaryily powerful though right?!) I just hope to ease the pain and loneliness for other young women out there that may be experiencing the same and looking for support and advise.
I can of course only speak on my journey and I’m definitely not a medical professional so I will be sharing what works for me and my journey through this bullshit hand I’ve been dealt. (Yes there maybe some cursing along the way, sorry Nan)
Lots of love,
CC aka Young “Hot” Single (get it!?)